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Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Getting Over TBR Anxiety: Another Perspective

One of my most popular posts is this one I wrote in 2017 about how to handle TBR Anxiety.

My main advice was to tell you to get over the fact that you will never read all the books, and from there I help you find way to accomplish this seemingly impossible task.

Last week, Tor.com had this post entitled, "Stop Feeling Guilty About the Books You Haven't Read Yet," which reminded me of my own advice.

I highly suggest everyone who reads this blog to click and read this essay. It is similar to what I have written before, but of course has a few different points. I also like that this is written from the point of view of an author, not a library worker. Sometimes it is easier to take advice from those outside [but still tangential] to our library world. It is also a good idea in general to look at what we do from other viewpoints.

Click here to read the Tor.com essay.

And here for my original post.

Friday, October 16, 2020

NOBODY CARES HOW MANY BOOKS YOU HAVE READ!

[Eds note, its a yelling day. Sorry in advance, but you all don't listen!]

It is that time of year again, when I start seeing library workers [and other book nerds] freak out about their Goodreads goals. And once again, I am taking a deep breath before putting my foot down to stop this nonsense.

NOBODY CARES HOW MANY BOOKS YOU HAVE READ! YOU ARE NOT BETTER OR WORSE AT YOUR JOB BASED ON HOW MANY TITLES YOU HAVE FINISHED!

I have even seen people posting about how they mark books the didn't finish as "read" just to hit their arbitrary goals and then have intense guilt about it.

STOP THIS NONSENSE. IT IS NOT HELPFUL. 

In fact, it can be harmful. [Also I think I am done yelling now.]

First, Goodreads is still keeping track of what you have read even if you don't set a goal. In past years people have told me they keep track because otherwise Goodreads doesn't track. Oh, how naive to think they aren't tracking you every second of every day. Go to the "My Books" page and towards the bottom of the left gutter you can choose "Year in Books" or "Reading Stats" at anytime.

Second, reading books to get to a number is less helpful than reading about books for your work with leisure readers. Some of the best RA librarians I know read only a handful of books a year. Click here for a great discussion of this point on the podcast Bellwether Friends. Alene is one of the best RA providers out there and her honest discussion of how few books she actually reads is inspirational.

Third, all these reading goals do is increase anxiety. Reading is our job, but it is also something many of us also do for fun. It is hard enough to separate the "have to" and the "want to" reads in a normal year, let alone in 2020. Stop making your life more difficult and DO NOT SET A READING GOAL. [Oops, I wasn't done yelling.]

Finally, click here to read my post on handling TBR anxiety, many have told me it has helped them. And also this post about why setting reading goals and shaming others [and yourself] for not making theirs goes against everything RA Service is about.

Sorry for being so blunt and grumpy today, but this is a problem you have the power to solve for yourselves, with a few clicks, and yet, every year I hear the same whining and complaining. We are living in a world where most things feel out of our control, but this is one easy thing you can do to take control of something.  Stop setting reading goals along with voting are two ways to assert control in your life right now.

Monday, December 23, 2019

How I Have Come to Terms With All the Books I Will Never Read

As the year is coming to an end, I am always troubled by the number of library workers I see getting physically upset about all the books they didn't get to read over the lat year and also having extra anxiety about all the books they will never read.

I wrote piece on handling TBR anxiety back in 2017, and I know it has helped a lot of you, but I have something to add to it that I know has helped me. I hope by passing it on, it can help you too.

First, the key point to that 2017 post is that you need to come to terms with the fact that you will never read all the books. But coming to terms is a process, I have learned. It begins by owning the statement, not just saying it. YOU WILL NEVER READ ALL THE BOOKS! There is no wiggle room here. No but, I will try. You cannot and will not. Please stop trying.

Then step two is to NOT set a number of books reading goal for yourself at the start of a year. In my opinion, this is one of the least healthy things you can do to yourself mentally as a library worker. Also, contrary to what GoodReads wants you to think you do NOT have to set a goal on order for them to keep track of how many you are reading. I never do. It still keeps track of how many books you read, but you have to dig to find the data. It does not greet you every time you log in or is always on your dashboard.

Not setting a number of books reading goal for 2 years now has given me space to think about my reading a little differently; to think outside of the number of titles box. Specifically in 2019, this space allowed me to come to an overall life motto, one that I have extended into my reading life too, and extending it is key because my job-- books-- also happens to be my biggest hobby, well reading them is at least. When your job and your personal joys overlap, you need to make space for the joy to still be there or you will lose it first from your hobby, bit then second, and more slowly [as I was seeing firsthand] from other aspects of your life too.

My children are getting older and the first one will be leaving the house in the Fall of 2020. I want to make time to do things with my family and be present for them. I have a lot of books to read for my job, and I work very hard to read those during my working hours, but I also need to read books for fun in order to live my best life and be the best version of me for my loved ones.

A few months ago I was on the phone with a colleague and I told him what I am about to tell you when he was bemoaning all the books he was never going to get to finish and how upset that made him.

I said:
I have decided that living by best life does NOT include reading all the books. I have come to terms with the fact that I WILL miss out on plenty of good books, some that I even probably could make time to read. but instead,  if I read about them, maybe just check them out of the library for a day or two and look them over, or just let them pass by me personally but make an effort to suggest them to someone else to enjoy, that is enough.
This new motto also leaves room for me to embrace and enjoy the books I do read for fun because I now know that they are the special few that I WILL read. I not only enjoy reading them more, I am also more willing to stop a book that isn't working for me with out feeling guilt.

However, when I expressed this new motto to my colleague, he said that he found that even more depressing. Like I was giving up. We talked some more and I get it, for him, it might be. In his head space, he enjoys the books more if he reads them.

For me, though, this is not giving up. Over the last year I feel like I have actually embraced more books, more stories, and more opinions about them by others than I ever have before. And, I have also noticed that I am more present for, less anxious about, and more fully embracing all other aspects of my life more.

In work, I have been more easily able to prioritize what matters, make space to say no when necessary without feeling badly about it, and do a better job at the things I choose to work on. And in my personal life I am definitely enjoying everything more fully. I am willing to let other things I thought I had to do right away slide a bit too. Nothing important, but I see small improvements like not stressing about always having every dish washed and put away at all times. I have embraced the idea that time with family and friends is the most important part of my life and as a result, somehow, I am also finding more time and energy to do all the have to home and business things as well. It is about increasing overall satisfaction with my life and my choices and it began with decisions about my reading.

Now, I realize this is my personal story and it may not work for all of you, but I feel like sharing it may help you to rethink your life as a professional reader and a hobby reader too. I hope my experience will offer you a framework to think about your life and where work and pleasure overlap, allowing you to make the space you need to do your job and enjoy your life fully, including the books you read.

Scheduling note: I will have a final catch up of reviews on the 26th and then my Best Books I Read This Year here on this blog on the 27th, and my Best Horror of the Decade For Libraries on the horror blog that same day. After that, I am on vacation until 1/6.

But, after the new year, I will begin my annual series of posts where I asses my reading resolutions and goals from 2019 before setting out goals for 2020. So for those of you who want homework while I am away, before you start setting 2020 goals, please look back at what your goals were for 2019 and not only asses how you did, but if the goals themselves were healthy, attainable, and helpful. Because as I said above, I do not think setting a goal of the number of books you read in a year is healthy or helpful in anyway.

See you back here on the 26th.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

RA for All Flashback Post: Handling TBR Anxiety

I have seen a few posts on other sites recently where people are beginning to get overwhelmed by the sheer number of new releases as the publishing schedule speeds up during the final months of the year. So, I thought today would be a great time to repost my Handling TBR Anxiety post from last Fall.

Look, we have enough to be anxious about in our work and personal lives, don’t let all the books you haven’t read add to it. Seriously, it’s not worth it. And, as I discuss below, you don’t have to read all the books to know enough about them to match them to their perfect reader. And honestly, in the end, that is more important than whether or not you read and enjoyed the title yourself.

I hope this post helps you to ditch at least a portion of your anxiety.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2017

Handling TBR Anxiety

Today I am going to tackle a topic that probably causes library workers the most personal anxiety-- the "To Be Read" [TBR] list.

For some of you there is a TBR list in the hundreds [or even thousands] on Goodreads or in a spreadsheet. For others the virtual list is also accompanied by a teetering pile of precariously stacked physical books, a pile that can collapse at any moment, tall enough to possibly cause physical injury.

Library workers talk all the time about their anxiety over how many books are on their TBR or about how they keeping meaning to read a book but can’t get it it or something about never getting to all the books they want to read. It is a never ending cycle, but it’s also a job hazard. We know about all of the books that we would love personally; we know about all of the books we would want to read; and we know backlist gems are still great reads. While our patrons might forget about the newest, hottest, shiniest books after a few months, we never forget. We brood over it. We feel actual pain that the book will not be read by us.

I know this is not an exaggeration because I have been this person, I have felt these feelings. I have had an actual panic attack and anxiety dreams over the books I wanted to read but couldn’t get to.  This is not a joke. This time of year it is even worse. With all the best lists coming out, the number of books on your TBR will grow and grow. All those best books you never got to.

Well, I have a treatment for TBR anxiety that has worked for me and today I am going to share it with you. And while what follows may sound a bit snarky, I assure you I am totally serious. It’s funny, yes, but the humor is there to help conquer the true and real anxiety.

The first step begins with some tough love/an intervention by me. Brace yourself though, because it is harsh....

YOU WILL NEVER READ ALL OF THE BOOKS! Not all the ones on your TBR pile, not all the books you want to read, not all the books in the world. It is impossible; you cannot and will not do it.

Take some breaths and let that sink in. Seriously telling myself this- out loud- in ALL CAPS was my first step toward tackling my book problem.

Now this is the first step toward acceptance that the TBR itself, the list or pile or both, needs to be addressed.

Step two is to take your TBR and sort it into a few categories.

  • “Read About”-- Books you could take off the shelf and leaf through- read the summary, the first chapter or so to get a feel for how it is written. Also look those titles up on NoveList or Goodreads while you are physically holding them and read about them. Read reviews- both professional and reader reviews. On NoveList click around and look at the readalikes, other books with similar appeal, etc... Take your TBR and mark 4-5 books in this new “Read About” category. Now make an effort to do those 4-5 in a month. Set up a Goodreads shelf just for your “Read About” books so you can even take some notes on appeal and readalikes; if you take them directly from NoveList note that. Once you get through the 4-5 you designated and have now removed from the list, go back to your TBR and pick 4-5 more. You may not get to read these books cover to cover, but you will know a lot more about them.
  • “Suggestion to a Patron”-- These are books that you want to read but you can also think of a few patrons who might like them too. Mark these as “Suggest to Patrons” in your TBR list. Give them out to patrons and tell them that you don’t have time to read it, but you think they will like it. Encourage that patron to come back and tell you all about it. This is my favorite category because not only does it allow someone to have the joy of reading the book, but in also creates a situation where patrons are giving me feedback. And bonus-- I get to hear a patron book talk a book. Hearing someone else opinion is fun and a great training tool. You can now remove this book from your TBR because it has been read (just not by you). 
    • You can get a lot of books off of your TBR this way. This is my biggest TBR thinning trick. Handing them out to readers who could love these books is sometimes more enjoyable than reading them myself. Seriously. When someone comes back and tells me they loved a book I suggested but didn’t get to read myself, I feel like a proud momma. It is an all encompassing joy and pride that literally warms you from the inside. Again, I am not being snarky. I have truly felt this MANY times and it feels a whole lot better than the anxiety I get from staring at the book title on my TBR.
  • “Read over the Holidays”-- Every year for the last 3 years I have taken two of the “Best” books from that year, books I know I won’t get to but really want to read, and I read them over the holiday break. So last year, I read Underground Railroad and News of the World to start 2017. Both made many top lists by both critics and readers to end 2016. I gave myself the holiday present of reading them to start 2017. This year I have chosen The Leavers and Sing, Unburied, Sing. I have no anxiety as they keep being mentioned as among the year’s best because I know I will get to them, and I am looking forward to reading them when I have more time.

This is the plan that worked for me. Look, it doesn’t magically get better overnight, but I can say after three years of consciously doing this- I have eliminated my TBR anxiety without eliminating the list.  In fact, you can keep freely adding to the list because as I have found, not keeping the list is the biggest anxiety maker. And in the end, I have actually learned much more about the books I will never get to read cover to cover than I would have by just keeping them on the list and being anxious about it

I have gotten even better at my job as a result of tackling my anxiety-- and my TBR list is now too short. I need to keep adding titles to it for the “Suggestion” category. I now actively seek out titles to add to my TBR so I can spread the joy of reading them to others. What a turn around.

Now since this is partly a psychological issue, I know my advice won’t work for every person out there reading this. All of our brains handle anxiety differently; however, I have shared this with a few dozen people and many have said it has helped them feel better about their TBR so I feel like it is worth passing on in the hopes that it will help others.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose except a whole lot of unnecessary anxiety. And if it works for you, let me know.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Guest Post: How to Gamify Your TBR Featuring Jennifer from Book Den

Back in November I had this post where I laid out my strategy for handling TBR anxiety. I got a lot of positive feedback from a wide range of readers thanking me for the post, for acknowledging this anxiety and for trying to help you combat it.

Many people have been informally sharing their strategies with me, but back in January, my friend Jennifer from Book Den had a post about how she turns her TBR into a game with the TBR mug. I asked her to write up something for my readers to help them battle their own TBR anxiety.

Jennifer’s TBR mug is a fun way to gamify your own reading list. Gamification is one of the biggest trends in society and thanks to The Center for the Future of Libraries [here], there was some direction on how to move this trend into libraries specifically. Gamification in libraries is pretty mainstream by now, but why not gamify your own reading too? What a great motivational tool, and it is fun.

Thanks Jennifer for sharing with my readers. She will be updating her progress on her site all year long if you want to follow along for fun or inspiration.

Here’s Jennifer.



Every year I have a select list of books I'm hoping to finally read. More often than not, the year goes by without me getting to read many of the books that have been sitting on my shelf for years. This year I decided to implement a TBR jar. I went through all of my unread books and selected 15 books I'd love to finally read this year.

The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub
My Soul to Keep by Tananarive Due
Neverland by Douglas Clegg
American Gods by Neil Gaiman
The House Next Door by Anne Rivers Siddons
Cinder by Marissa Meyer
The Fury by John Farris
Summer of Night by Dan Simmons
Ghost Story by Peter Straub
Rebecca by Dauphne du Maurier
1984 by George Orwell
Little Brothers by Rick Hautula
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Tell No One by Harlan Coben
The Orchard by Charles L. Grant

Each of the these titles have been placed into a mug that sits on my bookshelf. I plan to select one title each month through 2018. (There are 15 titles in the jar instead of just 12 so I can have a little wiggle room to mood read if I want to put a title back into the jar.)



The first title I pulled from the jar was Summer of Night by Dan Simmons which is turning out to be a fantastic read.
Since February is Women in Horror month, I may cheat a little and read My Soul to Keep by Tananarive Due without pulling it from the jar. Even if I don't follow the rules exactly, having my TBR jar sitting up front on my shelf will help keep the books I want to read most in the forefront of my mind. 

I'd also like to mention how fun it is to pull a random title out of the jar. I was so nervous and excited to find out which book I would be reading first. I have a feeling by the end of the year I will have finally read many of the books I've been wanting to read that I already own.

If you decide to do a TBR jar of your own, you can put as many or as few titles as you would like. I tried to keep my list small because these are the books I'd really like to focus on this year. I'm already thinking ahead to which titles will make the cut next year!


Friday, November 10, 2017

Guest Post by a First Time Library Conference Attendee

I have been a librarian for over 17 years, but I still remember being nervous at my very first library conference. Sometimes the nerves can be so great that they take away from your enjoyment and learning opportunities.

Now, as a conference veteran, I feel like one of my jobs as a library worker trainer is to share my advice for making the most of your conference experience. So, back in June, right before ALA I had this post with nontraditional conference advice and then just before my state conference, I had this series of posts where I wrote about my experience in order to inspire you to get more out of your own conference experience.

I have had wonderful feedback about these types of posts, receiving emails and tweets from others who greatly appreciated them, but recently, a new librarian from VA, Bridget, reached out to me to share exactly how she took my inspiration and ran with it. After a few email exchanges I realized her story was important for all of you to hear.

So today, here is Bridget, to explain how she kept a conference journal. I am so proud to have inspired Bridget to take her continuing education and her conference experience into her own hands. There is much all of us can learn from Bridget, those of you who are new to the profession and even us grizzled veterans.

Take it away Bridget

*******************************************
Like many of you, I read Becky’s post in early October announcing her upcoming visit to the Illinois Library Association conference, and encouraging all of us to consider writing about and sharing with her (and her readers) our state library conference experience if we attend ours.  As it so happens, I was getting ready to travel to Norfolk the very next week to attend the Virginia Library Association conference as my first-ever library conference.  I had been thinking “I really should make some record of this conference beyond my notes with content from the sessions” since those kinds of thoughts don’t come easily to me and the ones that do never seem to stick around.  Becky’s post inspired me to make sure that record actually happened, so I sent her an e-mail to let her know she had inspired me.  She asked if I would consider writing about my writing process, so I’m here today to tell you that you, too, can write about your state conference experience in a meaningful way, and how I went about doing mine.
First, a brief introduction:  I got my MLS in 2015 having attended grad school immediately after graduating with a bachelor’s degree in IT.  I am currently working in a “non-traditional” role as a contractor within the Federal government, but my career goal is to work as a “front-line” librarian.  I would love to be in a public library (my reason for following RA for All), but would be okay with a “front-line” job in any library setting where I would focus on working with adults.  I have not been feeling like I am a librarian since I am not working in a traditional role, and I hoped that attending VLA would help me feel like the kind of librarian I want to be for a few days and give me the opportunity to get some job search advice. 
Now I will talk about how I went about writing my conference journal: Over that weekend after Becky’s post and before my conference, I thought about the kinds of things I thought I would want to know in the future about my experience at the conference, and planned the entries I would make into this journal.   Since I struggle with remembering how I felt while having an experience in any area of my life, I knew I wanted to record that information for posterity.   Since going to your first-ever library conference is a big deal (at least it was for me), I thought I might want to know in the future how I felt in the few days before the conference, and also my thoughts after having attended the whole thing.  
I also wrote about my goals and expectations for the conference.  An excerpt of that part of my pre-conference journal entry is below.  Keep in mind this was my first conference.  
“I have established some goals and expectations for the next few days.  My number one goal is to have fun immersing myself in the wider library world and being surrounded by hundreds of fellow librarians while feeling like I’m actually a librarian (I don’t in my current job)!  I have established two other goals.  One is to introduce myself to at least one person in each session and break.  Hopefully I can make some contacts that I can continue after we get home.  My other goal is a two-part one.  The first part is to take advantage of everything they have to offer to early career and job-hunting librarians so I can learn as much as possible about networking, job-hunting, and advancing my career.  The second part is to absorb as much information as I can about the latest trends in libraries so I can remain up-to-speed in that regard.  I know these are lofty goals, but I hope they are attainable.” 
I also knew I wanted to record details about each session.  I took copious notes on what the presenters said in the sessions I found relevant to my current state in life, and a few notes in the others.  For the journal, I took a journalist’s approach and used the 5 “Ws” to create a consistent guide for what I would record in the journal.  My four questions were: who was presenting, what did they talk about (i.e. general topic), what were my takeaways, and why did I choose this session.   Here is the paragraph I wrote about one of the sessions I attended (about academic library job searching): 
“This session option was presented by a librarian at Virginia Commonwealth University.  The topic was tips and tricks related to the academic library job search process.  I attended the session because I wanted to get her perspective on this process and hopefully learn something new about it.  I got her perspective, but she didn’t say anything about job searching in academic libraries that I didn’t already know.”
As I mentioned, I wanted to be sure to have a record of how I felt having experienced the entire conference.  Here is the beginning of that journal entry:
“By the conclusion of day one, I had several thoughts running through my head about things that surprised me.  I wasn’t expecting that no one would talk between sessions, so I didn’t do much talking and therefore didn’t accomplish my goal of talking to at least one person at each session.  I had thought that people would talk to those around them while waiting for sessions to begin. But it is kind of hard to do that when the room you’re in is set up to hold 100 people, no more than a dozen people attend the session, and everyone spreads out across the entire room.”
Now I will answer the one remaining question: what was my writing timeline.  A couple days before I left, I took some time to gather the thoughts I had been having in the time leading up to the conference about what I was expecting to experience and hoping to get out of the conference, and write a journal entry with them.  Each day of the conference, I took time between sessions to write my short answer to each of the four W questions I established about the session I had just attended while it was fresh in my brain.  Then, each night I made sure I hadn’t forgotten to answer any of the questions for any session and wrote down my overall thoughts about the day.  Then the afternoon after I got home after the conference, I wrote journal entries for each day of the conference using my notes for each session, and an entry with my thoughts after having attended the whole thing.  That way, the event was still fresh in my brain.  
I hope that I will be able to look back over this journal in the years to come and remember my experience in a better way than if I had just written notes during each session.  Having done it once (thereby proving to myself that I can indeed be introspective), I will now be sure to write a similar journal when I do conference-style professional development in the future.  It is my hope that by reading this entry of RA for All, you will realize that it really isn’t that scary to write a conference journal, and give you an idea of what to write about if you hadn’t the foggiest of one.  If someone for whom reflecting on one’s thoughts is difficult can write a reflection journal, you can too!

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Handling TBR Anxiety

Today I am going to tackle a topic that probably causes library workers the most personal anxiety-- the "To Be Read" [TBR] list.

For some of you there is a TBR list in the hundreds [or even thousands] on Goodreads or in a spreadsheet. For others the virtual list is also accompanied by a teetering pile of precariously stacked physical books, a pile that can collapse at any moment, tall enough to possibly cause physical injury.

Library workers talk all the time about their anxiety over how many books are on their TBR or about how they keeping meaning to read a book but can’t get it it or something about never getting to all the books they want to read. It is a never ending cycle, but it’s also a job hazard. We know about all of the books that we would love personally; we know about all of the books we would want to read; and we know backlist gems are still great reads. While our patrons might forget about the newest, hottest, shiniest books after a few months, we never forget. We brood over it. We feel actual pain that the book will not be read by us.

I know this is not an exaggeration because I have been this person, I have felt these feelings. I have had an actual panic attack and anxiety dreams over the books I wanted to read but couldn’t get to.  This is not a joke. This time of year it is even worse. With all the best lists coming out, the number of books on your TBR will grow and grow. All those best books you never got to.

Well, I have a treatment for TBR anxiety that has worked for me and today I am going to share it with you. And while what follows may sound a bit snarky, I assure you I am totally serious. It’s funny, yes, but the humor is there to help conquer the true and real anxiety.

The first step begins with some tough love/an intervention by me. Brace yourself though, because it is harsh....

YOU WILL NEVER READ ALL OF THE BOOKS! Not all the ones on your TBR pile, not all the books you want to read, not all the books in the world. It is impossible; you cannot and will not do it.

Take some breaths and let that sink in. Seriously telling myself this- out loud- in ALL CAPS was my first step toward tackling my book problem.

Now this is the first step toward acceptance that the TBR itself, the list or pile or both, needs to be addressed.

Step two is to take your TBR and sort it into a few categories.

  • “Read About”-- Books you could take off the shelf and leaf through- read the summary, the first chapter or so to get a feel for how it is written. Also look those titles up on NoveList or Goodreads while you are physically holding them and read about them. Read reviews- both professional and reader reviews. On NoveList click around and look at the readalikes, other books with similar appeal, etc... Take your TBR and mark 4-5 books in this new “Read About” category. Now make an effort to do those 4-5 in a month. Set up a Goodreads shelf just for your “Read About” books so you can even take some notes on appeal and readalikes; if you take them directly from NoveList note that. Once you get through the 4-5 you designated and have now removed from the list, go back to your TBR and pick 4-5 more. You may not get to read these books cover to cover, but you will know a lot more about them.
  • “Suggestion to a Patron”-- These are books that you want to read but you can also think of a few patrons who might like them too. Mark these as “Suggest to Patrons” in your TBR list. Give them out to patrons and tell them that you don’t have time to read it, but you think they will like it. Encourage that patron to come back and tell you all about it. This is my favorite category because not only does it allow someone to have the joy of reading the book, but in also creates a situation where patrons are giving me feedback. And bonus-- I get to hear a patron book talk a book. Hearing someone else opinion is fun and a great training tool. You can now remove this book from your TBR because it has been read (just not by you). 
    • You can get a lot of books off of your TBR this way. This is my biggest TBR thinning trick. Handing them out to readers who could love these books is sometimes more enjoyable than reading them myself. Seriously. When someone comes back and tells me they loved a book I suggested but didn’t get to read myself, I feel like a proud momma. It is an all encompassing joy and pride that literally warms you from the inside. Again, I am not being snarky. I have truly felt this MANY times and it feels a whole lot better than the anxiety I get from staring at the book title on my TBR.
  • “Read over the Holidays”-- Every year for the last 3 years I have taken two of the “Best” books from that year, books I know I won’t get to but really want to read, and I read them over the holiday break. So last year, I read Underground Railroad and News of the World to start 2017. Both made many top lists by both critics and readers to end 2016. I gave myself the holiday present of reading them to start 2017. This year I have chosen The Leavers and Sing, Unburied, Sing. I have no anxiety as they keep being mentioned as among the year’s best because I know I will get to them, and I am looking forward to reading them when I have more time.

This is the plan that worked for me. Look, it doesn’t magically get better overnight, but I can say after three years of consciously doing this- I have eliminated my TBR anxiety without eliminating the list.  In fact, you can keep freely adding to the list because as I have found, not keeping the list is the biggest anxiety maker. And in the end, I have actually learned much more about the books I will never get to read cover to cover than I would have by just keeping them on the list and being anxious about it

I have gotten even better at my job as a result of tackling my anxiety-- and my TBR list is now too short. I need to keep adding titles to it for the “Suggestion” category. I now actively seek out titles to add to my TBR so I can spread the joy of reading them to others. What a turn around.

Now since this is partly a psychological issue, I know my advice won’t work for every person out there reading this. All of our brains handle anxiety differently; however, I have shared this with a few dozen people and many have said it has helped them feel better about their TBR so I feel like it is worth passing on in the hopes that it will help others.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose except a whole lot of unnecessary anxiety. And if it works for you, let me know.